Facing a Phobia

Anna took a breath and stepped toward the overturned cup. 

Then she squeaked and jumped back.   Her chest tightened, forcing the air out.  She gasped, but couldn’t hold it in.  As her gasps increased, so did her heart rate.  Then the tears came, hot and large.  She slunk back against the wall, sinking to a squat on the floor, her eyes never leaving the cup.

She couldn’t do it. 

She melted into a panic stricken, hyperventilating mess in the corner, unable to move, to think, to help herself.  Her whole body was shaking.

She knew it was irrational.  She knew the spider under the cup couldn’t/wouldn’t hurt her.  But she was paralyzed with fear.  Her fear mingled with frustration at herself and soon the tears became sobs of bewilderment and anger.

“Anna,” Kate called from the backyard.  “Anna?”

She tried to answer, but the words couldn’t get over her dry tongue. 

“Anna?”

Kate’s face went white as opened the door and stepped into the kitchen.  “Anna!”  Kate rushed toward her, almost kicking the cup.  Anna jumped up and hid her face in the corner.  Then Kate’s arms were around her.  Kate cooed in her ear and forced open her clenched fists.

“What is it?” Kate asked.  “What is wrong?”

It took Anna several minutes to calm down enough to stutter, “spider.”

Kate turned and saw the overturned cup.  “Shh,” she said, wiping the tears away.  “Did you trap it under the cup?”

Anna nodded. 

“I am so proud of you!  Anna, that’s fantastic.”

“But…”

“Anna, you trapped it.  You kept your head.  You got close enough to put a cup over it!  I am so proud.”

Suddenly, the tension drained from Anna’s shoulders.  Not all of it, the spider was still under the cup and she could feel its presence, but enough.  Kate was right. 

“I will just take it outside,” Kate said, pulling away.

“No,” Anna cried.  “Kill it!  If you put it outside it will just come back in.”

Kate smiled kindly.  “Okay, but I will kill it outside.”

Kate used a piece of junk mail from the kitchen table to trap the spider in the cup.  Anna fretted and shook in the corner, but managed to keep herself mostly together.

Once she was outside, Kate tipped the cup right-side up and thumped the piece of mail to make sure the spider fell to the bottom.  She took away the mail and smiled into the cup.  “I will pardon you this once,” she said to the small brown spider gently feeling its way back up the side of the cup toward freedom.  “After all, it was me that let you in.  Good work.” 

She dumped the spider into the grass on the far side of the yard then went back inside to comfort Anna.    The girl really had come a long way.