Forgot Something Important

Alan touched the naked spot at the base of his ring finger with the tip of his thumb for the millionth time that evening.  No warm, hard metal. 

For twenty years he had never left the house without his wedding band.  He felt so incomplete without it now.  Like he was undressed or exposed somehow.  His thumb rubbed over the area again.

Kathy smiled across the table at him.  “How is your steak?”

“Oh, just great.  Perfect.”

“Is something wrong with your hand?  You keep rubbing your finger.”

“Oh, no.  Just an itch.”

He felt wretched for lying to Kathy.  But how could he tell her the truth.  And what about Sarah?  She would understand, he knew.  She was always so understanding.  But it was still a betrayal.  And now he was lying! 

This had all been a huge mistake.  He wasn’t ready.  He would never be ready.  He just couldn’t do this.  He had been a fool to listen to Mark!

Slowly he pushed his plate away.  “Listen, Kathy, I have had a great time but…”

“I’m sorry,” she said.  “I am not very good at this.  It’s been a while since I was on a date.”

“Me too,” he admitted.

“To be honest, I almost didn’t come out tonight.  I mean, you are lovely.  I think you are a great guy, but I… I just can’t do it yet.  It’s just too soon. Mark insisted…  He said you were so wonderful.  Just my type…”

Alan stared across the table at her.  Why was she saying the exact same things he was thinking? 

She took a sip of her wine, her eyes avoiding his.   “But I am not ready for another relationship.  I shouldn’t tell you this, but my husband died.  Just a year ago.  I thought it was time to get back out there, but I am not ready.”

Alan dropped his silverware.  The sharp sound made her look up startled.

“Sarah died a year, seven months, and five days ago.  I’m not ready either.”